I hate....Break ups

Neila Sedaka had it right when he sang "Breaking Up is Hard to Do". I've been reminiscing a lot lately about past boyfriends and current exes and I surmise that breaking up really is hard to do. Oh sure, there's the initial breakup which totally sucks but it doesn't just end with one convo. Breakups linger. There's the exchanging of items, whether it be clothes, dvds, care bears (okay not really but I love jonathan groff and glee). If you've been together long enough, who gets what friends? Is it okay to still talk to an ex's family? How much is just right or too much?

An ex bf a few years ago was a pretty crazy guy but I did love his mother. When we broke up, there was an apartment we shared a lease on for about 3 months. He was supposed to move everything out but the day before the lease was up he had done nothing. So his mother and I went and packed up the apartment. We talked about life, the failed relationship, and love. When we packed up the box I knew this was the final conversation. With a hug and a goodbye it was over. Could I have kept talking to her? Of course and she would have gladly done it but I knew that it would bother my ex and it was his life.

When you get broken up with, you don't really want constant reminders of the person who hurt you, even if you think you do. The ex wants to move on and it's hard to do with the other person still there. You feel bad in any position, whether you do the breaking up or get broken up with. Sometimes the bad you feel is really just sad or the bad is mad. Either way, somethings you just have to let go. Sometimes you have to throw out all the ticket stubs, the tshirt you slept in and just make a fresh start.

I made my fresh start this week by letting go via facebook which is stupid but helpful. I took off the ex, most of his friends who I know but am not close with, and his family (even his sister who I love but it just didn't feel right). I just felt it was time to move on. I am not going to pretend that things are good because they're not. But I am not going to dwell. Life keeps moving and I am going to keep growing and learning.

At the end of every breakup, there's always the thought of how sad things are to end but as I look at my life right now, all I see are beginnings. As Ecclesiastes and The Byrds reminds me...

To Everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time to every purpose, under Heaven
A time of love, a time of hate
A time of war, a time of peace
A time you may embrace, a time to refrain from embracing

Love,

Veronica

What Up With...Pressure to Have Babies?

This past weekend I went to a party thrown by my in-laws. A lot of their family friends were in attendance, many of whom I haven't seen since my wedding. Several times that night we had this conversation:

Family Friend: "How are the newlyweds doing?"
Us: "We're great, thanks. How are you?"
Friend: "Good. So, when are you two going to start having children?"
Us: *silence*

When I was 13 or so, I thought I had my life planned out. I was going to graduate from college when I was 22, get married when I was 23 and have my first child when I was 25. It's funny how I was so sure I had my life planned out back then. The reality of my situation is that I graduated from college when I was 22, graduated from grad school at 26 and got married several months later. And we don't see babies anywhere in our near future.

When we tell people that we're not having children anytime soon, 9 times out of 10 we get "why not?!" I always respond with the truth: right now I think I'm too selfish to have a child. It sounds silly, but we really enjoy our independence. I like getting a phone call from a friend to go out on a Saturday night with 5 minutes notice and being able to leave without thinking about a babysitter. I like going to the movies at 10 p.m. I like throwing house parties with my college friends that last until sunrise. My career is really important to me and I want a few years to build it up before I have a baby. I'd like to pay down my student loans a bit. I want to take a month long trip through Europe. The list could go on and on. I know that motherhood doesn't mean the end of my life, but I just don't think that I'm ready. It doesn't mean that there won't be babies eventually - I'm actually very excited to have children (hopefully a girl that I'll name Cecilia Bloom, even though my husband thinks I'm crazy). Just not now.

After explaining this to someone the other day, I got the response "well, you have to think about people other than yourself when you think about having a child, like the child's grandparents. I'm sure they're ready for a grandchild." Um...ok? This doesn't just apply to family friends. No less then a week after my honeymoon my mom asked me when I'm going to have a baby and she asks me at least once a month. I guess I expect this from my mom. It's another thing when people who don't know me very well start weighing in.

I suppose after marriage it's normal to get the baby question and as annoying as it can be, I get it. What I hate is that we're sometimes told that we're selfish for wanting to wait.

Is it selfish?

I won't cave into pressure, but I'm running out of ways to answer the question without rolling my eyes (which is TOUGH. The fact that I can control my eye rolling in this situation is a big deal). Maybe I should make a little handout to give people when the question comes up so I don't actually have to say anything. Or just come up with a witty comeback that lets them know to stop asking. I'm now taking suggestions.

Love,

Betty

Comcast, I hate you.

So I'm at the Hilton Garden Inn for a wedding this weekend and I have to say I am loving it. I love that I can use the business center since I don't have a laptop. I can finally blog and check up on celebrity gossip and gchat. Clearly I have priorities.

Betty and I are thinking about blogging about our working out and fitness goals. Its about the tone-age not the poundage. Having a best friend makes things much easier for motivation.

I am currently hating like crazy on Comcast because they extremely messed my bill up causing me to have to cancel just to get a final and correct bill. Which went from $463 to $152 because of all their mistakes. The problem is I don't get AT&T U-verse in my neighborhood and Comcast sucks. Sure some reps are amazing but often others screw things up and make mistakes that Comcast refuses to correct.

Comcast screwed up my bills so mad, then didn't send them for months, then admitted they made a mistake and tried to screw me over with credits that didn't add up to their mistakes and only gave me them when I did the math with them over the 4 hour phone call.

Sidenote: Hey Hilton Garden Employees? Clearly your behind the counter room is RIGHT next to the business center so I hear every.single.word. of your conversations. Like "Mike! Hey, where did you come from? From my mother but thats a long story". While funny, it's also rather annoying.

So, back to Comcast. They let my ex use my SS# for his account and then when I found out and sent in a transfer, which they have record of, they refuse to change it. They keep saying they will call me back but never do.

After 4 years of defending you, I officially and forever hate you. Your 6 month deals suck and so does your service.

Hello RCN or direct tv.

Love,
Veronica