Wednesday, June 23, 2010

I hate the high road: or why being morally superior can suck

{What Up with That Wednesday is now in session!}

I hate taking the high road. You know, the road where you do the right thing but somehow the other person gets all the rewards? I know that in the end karma is a bitch and blah blah they'll get what they deserve but it still isn't fun watching a completely undeserving person get rewarded for well, being a jerk.

I hate the ex friend who talked CRAZY shit about me to a ton of people which was all lies. He was privately a VERY different person that most people saw him as and really, a big fake. I took the high road and didn't spill all the secrets that would have burned him socially and professionally. When people hate me because of him it gets me really upset. I feel like screaming and shouting and throwing a tantrum and letting them know how much shit their "friend" talked about them but what's the use? People have to figure things out for themselves.

I hate the ex boyfriend who is a spoiled brat who treats everyone horrible but is so charming everyone forgives him. The guy who lies to everyone, who is lazy, who can never be depended on but yet somehow everyone knows this and can't stand him but when you're in the room with him you forget it all. I hate that I worked so hard and people respect me more but still hang out with him. I hate that at the end of the day when I could do a lot of things to him I don't because I'm just not vindictive.

I hate having the power to really mess up someones life they way they've hurt mine or someone I've loved yet don't because I am a person who doesn't stoop that low. I hate feeling angry when I know I should feel good about myself and my decisions. I suppose I feel saltier that a bag of salt n' vinegar chips but sometimes I can't help it. It is really frustrating to work hard and watch people cheat and lie and get rewards based on that.

I also hate people who have 15 items and still go in the 10 items of less check out lane.

I hate people who can't decide for themselves how they feel about a person and rely on other people.

I hate feeling about bad about people not worth my time.

I hate waiting a week for True Blood and all summer for more Glee.

But things I love?

@LivitLuvit, in the @MTVTJ search for MTV’s 1st Twitter Jockey! #zyncmtvtj. Follow her!




leymilne said...

I love reading a blog and having that feeling like the writer is totally inside your head. Ex-boyfriends, fake friends, the express lane. I am so with you!

I'm already going through Glee withdrawals, I've been re-watching the season which makes me miss it even more. And True Blood--I've been waiting ALL YEAR and somehow Monday-Sunday night is the longest stretch possible.

JPO said...

I think we may have shared the same ex-boyfriend :) Just don't make the mistake I did and marry'll end up on your second marriage shortly there after

Raquel said...

Ah, fake friends. AMEN.

andygirl said...

okay, I'm going to make a real comment, not a jokey comment. is that okay? I'm about to be thirty and it took me until 28 and a lot of therapy to figure this out: you are allowed to *feel* all of your emotions, even hate. just lean into it, swim it in, feel it so much you can't stand it anymore. then, those emotions lose their power. except (!), guilt. unless you've killed someone, guilt is the only negative emotion.

so feel all of your emotions and give yourself the freedom to do it freely, but let go of any guilt for doing so. you'll feel *so* much better about all those fake people and selfish people and hurtful people.


LiLu said...

*melt melt melt melt*

That was my heart. Melting of love and joy and fairy dust.

Thank you so much!!!

doniree said...

We've all been in the situation where we've had to decide how and when we were going to stop hating all of those situations you described with the friends and the exes and all.

It takes a lot of work (and I'll agree with andygirl), allowing yourself to actually FEEL your way through something, but in the end, it's way more freeing to stop letting those negative people take up space in your mind and in your life.

It's so much more fulfilling to live vibrantly in spite of, and having moved on from how someone else sees you and onto how you see yourself.

Trust me, it SUCKS seeing someone socially portrayed one way when your experience files them to be different. But that doesn't mean that the way we see them is right - it's just been our experience. We're all able to come to our own decisions about how we feel about people - and you're right about karma. It bites.

I'd rather let nature take it's course than try to jump in the middle, and would rather move along with my own life :)

In short (ha!), I totally feel you. It's frustrating. But I wouldn't recommend giving these people too much of your energy - there are way more important things to be moving on to :)

I'll second the LiLu part though! CONGRATS HOMEGIRL :)

rachel elizabeth said...

Feelings are nasty little bastards, seriously. To allow yourself to FEEL instead of blindly hate to avoid those feelings? It's going to consume you.

I can see how taking the high road and allowing others to see the best in people that maybe aren't the best people around is hard. We've all been there. But to take the time and energy to openly hate on someone? Such a huge waste of time.

I know this might be a little out of bounds and I promise I mean no harm... but this blog? I really feel like it represents everything that 20sb is trying not to promote. You're fostering open hate, (even inviting others to join in) in an anonymous forum that could really set people up to get hurt. I've been in 20sb from the beginning, i've been on the receiving end of people calling names and making false accusations. It's not fair, it's not fun, and I would hate to see someone promote such a thing.

I mean, hating on ex boyfriends? Sure. Brand About Town? Why not. But other bloggers that put their heart and soul into what they write? Blatantly making people feel bad? It's not okay. I just really hope you girls don't take it that far.

Also, third the LiLu part. LOVE YOU!!

we hate you. love, us said...

thanks leymilne, jpo, and raquel :)

andygirl- <3 thanks! i agree, letting go of guilt is good.

lilu-you know i love ya!

doniree- thanks so much for the comment. i definitely agree with it. i think thats why i like to write or vent out what i feel. i'm purging it out of my system but also letting other people see and know that it's okay to be mad and have these feelings. i loved the comment "It's so much more fulfilling to live vibrantly in spite of, and having moved on from how someone else sees you and onto how you see yourself." thanks for commenting and know that while we may hate on things here we are all for love and positivity too. as i've said in earlier posts, we'll also be posting things we love and happy stuff but this is a blog venting about what we don't like and its not serious.

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