I hate....Break ups

Neila Sedaka had it right when he sang "Breaking Up is Hard to Do". I've been reminiscing a lot lately about past boyfriends and current exes and I surmise that breaking up really is hard to do. Oh sure, there's the initial breakup which totally sucks but it doesn't just end with one convo. Breakups linger. There's the exchanging of items, whether it be clothes, dvds, care bears (okay not really but I love jonathan groff and glee). If you've been together long enough, who gets what friends? Is it okay to still talk to an ex's family? How much is just right or too much?

An ex bf a few years ago was a pretty crazy guy but I did love his mother. When we broke up, there was an apartment we shared a lease on for about 3 months. He was supposed to move everything out but the day before the lease was up he had done nothing. So his mother and I went and packed up the apartment. We talked about life, the failed relationship, and love. When we packed up the box I knew this was the final conversation. With a hug and a goodbye it was over. Could I have kept talking to her? Of course and she would have gladly done it but I knew that it would bother my ex and it was his life.

When you get broken up with, you don't really want constant reminders of the person who hurt you, even if you think you do. The ex wants to move on and it's hard to do with the other person still there. You feel bad in any position, whether you do the breaking up or get broken up with. Sometimes the bad you feel is really just sad or the bad is mad. Either way, somethings you just have to let go. Sometimes you have to throw out all the ticket stubs, the tshirt you slept in and just make a fresh start.

I made my fresh start this week by letting go via facebook which is stupid but helpful. I took off the ex, most of his friends who I know but am not close with, and his family (even his sister who I love but it just didn't feel right). I just felt it was time to move on. I am not going to pretend that things are good because they're not. But I am not going to dwell. Life keeps moving and I am going to keep growing and learning.

At the end of every breakup, there's always the thought of how sad things are to end but as I look at my life right now, all I see are beginnings. As Ecclesiastes and The Byrds reminds me...

To Everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time to every purpose, under Heaven
A time of love, a time of hate
A time of war, a time of peace
A time you may embrace, a time to refrain from embracing

Love,

Veronica

monday musings or why i love fall and hate bills

I hate when things like bills get in the way and your new job doesn't pay you for 3 weeks and you have to decide between your phone and the internet and you choose the phone because it's an iphone and you have the internet but it still is annoying to try and write a blog post on it.

I also hate when time and life get in the way and you don't get to read peoples amazing posts and comment.

I also hate not having cable and missing all my shows RIGHT before the True Blood finale and the One Tree Hill premiere.

My job is something I don't hate because while the pay is low, the people are great and the time flies by. I work mostly nights about 30 hours a week and I either need another part time time or a great full time job.

Oh! The fabulous Marta Acosta sent me a copy of her new book out September 28 called Haunted Honeymoon. I will be writing a post tomorrow about it, the other book she sent me, and how fabulous she is!

So honestly, I LOVE fall. Adore it. Scarves, come out, cute cardigans and sweaters, hot chocolate, brisk weather that is perfect for curling up with my pups and a good book. I would say I miss my flip flops but I don't because those babies don't get put away until the first snow and even then I wear them around my house. Although this year I'm thinking about slippers maybe? Fall clothes are pretty easy for me but what's been on my mind are what pajamas I am going to wear.

Usually I sleep naked because that's comfortable and I get hot easily and clothes tend to bother me when I sleep and who doesn't feel sexy sleeping naked? The thing is, it does get cold and it's SO much harder to get out of bed when it's freezing. This morning I was pondering what I should do and what pajamas to get while in bed playing Luxor on my iphone which is completely addicting.

Do I get a cute VS pajama set with pants and a tank top? or the VS long sleeved set? Or the set with shorts? Or a nightgown? Or flannels? I like the idea of a night gown but I think I'm leaning towards the VS Dreamer Flannel Pajama, or the VS Pillow Talk Tank pajama. I looked at Gap online and I love the camis and tanks so mixing and matching could be an option. (I also REALLY want to try their jean leggings but with the $ situation, probably not happening).

I think pajamas somehow signify to myself that I am a grown up in my apartment with bills and dogs and responsibilities. It also signifies hope that I want nice pjs for myself and perhaps a future man who stays over and could potentially call himself my boyfriend.

What kind of pajamas do you guys wear? Any suggestions?

xoxoxo
Veronica

Also, as I'm writing this at the library I am privy to the people next to me, the first who talked about doing 5 months in the big house for parole violateion and the next guy who is listening to "Needles and Pins", I'm just glad its a song I like since I can hear it clearly...