Tuesday, September 21, 2010

I Don't Hate My Boobs - I Hate You for Staring

Yesterday I decided I wanted a sandwich for lunch and was extremely stoked for the cookie I always treat myself to when I go there. I stood in line and walked up to the counter when it was my turn. Here's how that went down:

Sandwich Guy: Hi, how can I help you?
Betty: Hi, can I have a veggie sandwich on wheat with no mushrooms?


Sandwich Guy: um, sorry what was that?
Betty: Veggie on wheat, no mushrooms


Sandwich Guy: um...sorry I'm distracted. What didn't you want on it?

As I looked up at the guy, I realized why he couldn't remember what I ordered and why he was distracted- he was staring at my chest.

Why do some guys think this is acceptable?

I've talked about this before, but I have big boobs. And I love them. When I was young, I stuffed my 32AA bra thinking I was cursed. Then out of nowhere, they showed up in full force. At 17, I was stoked that I had this body. Then the staring started. Young guys, old guys, guys in suits, guys in baggy jeans, guys in cars, guys on bikes, it didn't matter. My first real job was that summer as a receptionist. Every few days a guy would walk in and gasp and I knew what was coming - something along the lines of "wow, you look great...I'd love to take you out sometime..." When I informed them that I was 17 they would say "well, I'm ok with that if you're ok with that." Actually creepo, I'm not ok with that. And god help them if they tried that line on one of the days my dad was in the office. All hell broke loose a couple times that summer.

Before long, I became known to my then good friend's friends as "oh yea, your friend with the massive chest." I was devastated. I wasn't "the smart girl with a college scholarship" or "the girl who makes awesome mix tapes" or even "your friend Betty". My breasts were the thing that defined me and I hated it. I even had a guy tell me "well, if you don't like people staring, you shouldn't show them." I tried to hide them. I even attempted to tape them down like Christina Ricci did in "Now and Then", but it just made me look ridiculous. The truth is that when you have big boobs, you can try to distract from them, but really you can't hide them. I could wear a turtle neck covered in a potato sack topped off with one of those puffy winter coats and I would still have breasts. I'm a woman - it's ok to look like one.

Do I realize that guys may quickly glance? Yes. And that doesn't bother me. But the full on staring like I'm a walking art exhibit or something is completely different. I've learned to come up with witty comebacks and how to call guys out, but I shouldn't have to. I'm not going to hide or be ashamed. I'm not one for wearing low cut clothes or showing lots of cleavage, but I will rock a plain black v-neck tshirt and not feel bad about it.

So guys who think that it's acceptable to stare at me because of my breasts - I really hate you.




Paige said...

seriously that is so fucking annoying... like jesus guys i know theyre amazing but lets keep those thoughts pg rated when youre making my sandwich

andygirl said...

I can't empathize because I have no boobs. but I can sympathize. and that sucks. it's not your fault they're big slobbery dogs who can't get over the idea of breasts. you have breasts. that shouldn't make you an object for them to ogle.

and what is the big deal anyway? why are guys so mesmerized? women don't have dicks but you don't see us staring and getting all bent out of shape every time a man's crotch comes into view. in fact, most of us don't want to see that.

Kate said...

This... feels like it was written by me. Sometimes I want to scream "I'M WEARING A TURTLENECK, HOW CAN THIS POSSIBLY BE SEXY OR REVEALING?" They're just.. there. Get over it.

Ana said...

I get more annoyed when I think that I'm wearing something modest, then out of no where, someone will make a comment about my decolletage. Seriously? You can't see nip, you can barely see that I have a rounded bosom. Where the hell is your imagination going? Oy.

Jennifer B said...

hahaha wow, I love your blog. I don't exactly feel your pain because I have small boobies, but guys still gawk at my ass, and my small chest, and my legs. It doesn't matter. Guys are annoying and gross (except the ones who aren't, which really just means they are better at concealing their peeking).

Anonymous said...

I don't get why guys stare either. Couldn't they try to be stealthy?

HP said...

As a member of the "blessed" family, I totally relate with this post. I sometimes will hold my hand over the neckline of my shirt just so that those not-so-stealthy boys know that I'm onto them..

Jing said...

Awww, I wish I could say that I had the same problem, but unfortunately I have not been "blessed" with a large chest. Lots of people stare at me a lot though, especially when I'm with my awkward super asian-touristy family.

Hope you cheer up, I've given you guys a blog award for being awesome to read :)


Ana said...

Bee tee and dubs, I tagged both of you in my blog. Enjoy.


Candy said...

I've had small breasts all my life but can certainly see how frustrating it would be! I wish all the Heidi Montags of the world could read this!

SarahNeedsALife said...

Oh wow do I understand... the staring is definitely obnoxious and creepy.

Even more disconcerting to me though, is being described/defined by them by others like you mentioned. It's like, "Hey!! I'm awesome... pick something else!!!" Being the "girl with the big boobs" is crappy... I hate that too.

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