What Up With...Pressure to Have Babies?

This past weekend I went to a party thrown by my in-laws. A lot of their family friends were in attendance, many of whom I haven't seen since my wedding. Several times that night we had this conversation:

Family Friend: "How are the newlyweds doing?"
Us: "We're great, thanks. How are you?"
Friend: "Good. So, when are you two going to start having children?"
Us: *silence*

When I was 13 or so, I thought I had my life planned out. I was going to graduate from college when I was 22, get married when I was 23 and have my first child when I was 25. It's funny how I was so sure I had my life planned out back then. The reality of my situation is that I graduated from college when I was 22, graduated from grad school at 26 and got married several months later. And we don't see babies anywhere in our near future.

When we tell people that we're not having children anytime soon, 9 times out of 10 we get "why not?!" I always respond with the truth: right now I think I'm too selfish to have a child. It sounds silly, but we really enjoy our independence. I like getting a phone call from a friend to go out on a Saturday night with 5 minutes notice and being able to leave without thinking about a babysitter. I like going to the movies at 10 p.m. I like throwing house parties with my college friends that last until sunrise. My career is really important to me and I want a few years to build it up before I have a baby. I'd like to pay down my student loans a bit. I want to take a month long trip through Europe. The list could go on and on. I know that motherhood doesn't mean the end of my life, but I just don't think that I'm ready. It doesn't mean that there won't be babies eventually - I'm actually very excited to have children (hopefully a girl that I'll name Cecilia Bloom, even though my husband thinks I'm crazy). Just not now.

After explaining this to someone the other day, I got the response "well, you have to think about people other than yourself when you think about having a child, like the child's grandparents. I'm sure they're ready for a grandchild." Um...ok? This doesn't just apply to family friends. No less then a week after my honeymoon my mom asked me when I'm going to have a baby and she asks me at least once a month. I guess I expect this from my mom. It's another thing when people who don't know me very well start weighing in.

I suppose after marriage it's normal to get the baby question and as annoying as it can be, I get it. What I hate is that we're sometimes told that we're selfish for wanting to wait.

Is it selfish?

I won't cave into pressure, but I'm running out of ways to answer the question without rolling my eyes (which is TOUGH. The fact that I can control my eye rolling in this situation is a big deal). Maybe I should make a little handout to give people when the question comes up so I don't actually have to say anything. Or just come up with a witty comeback that lets them know to stop asking. I'm now taking suggestions.

Love,

Betty

What Up With Auto-Flush?

Last night while out to dinner with my husband, I made a quick trip to the ladies room. After locking the door to the stall, I turned around and the auto-flush on the toilet went off and splashed a substantial amount of water all over my skirt. Not cute.

I hate auto-flush toilets.

I remember when auto-flush started showing up in public bathrooms. I must have been 10 or so and I thought "wow, what an amazing invention!" I was convinced it was the cure for those people who forget to flush the toilet. What I realized that I know walk into stalls with more unflushed toilets than I ever did before. Either people 1) are overly dependent on the auto-flush and don't wait/care to see if it actually flushes or 2) can't find the sometimes impossibly small button to push when the sensor fails. I know there have been times when I've had to search for it. Ultimately, it's a lot more effort than pulling down on a little flush handle.

I know it's weird, but now when I walk into a stall and I see a real flusher, in the back of my head I rejoice. The auto-flush is a piece of technology I would be happy without. It's much easier for me to use my foot to flush than waiting for a sensor.

And a least I don't have to pray that the bathroom has air dryers to dry my skirt.

Love,

Betty

Whats up with ScarJo?

Scarlett Johansson?
I hate you.

No, it's not because you married the talented and funny Ryan Reynolds which seems totally undeserved when I think of all the moronic things to come out of your mouth.

It's not because of your stupidly placed tattoo.

So why do I hate you? Yeah...okay...it's definitely all the stupid things that come out of your mouth that are both negative towards women, contradictory, and catered to the ideal of female sexuality as constructed by males....

“I definitely believe in plastic surgery. I don't want to be an old hag. There's no fun in that.”

Have you called up Hellen Mirren and told her that? Because I don't know if you're aware of her last photo shoot. She might be old but she is no hag and a natural beauty. Since aging is an inevitable process it's nice to see people embracing what we're supposed to look like

“I hope they make a video game of me. At least I wouldn't have any cellulite then.”

Again worried about your looks. While I get your job depends on looks, at least how you portray yourself and the roles you go for, ever thought of how stupid you sound when you say that and then say things like...

“If you're comfortable with yourself, then it's sexy. Maybe people think I look sexy because I feel sexy. I am a very liberated person that way. I'm very comfortable with my sexuality, my body, my face - well, sometimes I'm not comfortable with my face, but it's stuck there and there's nothing I can do about it.”

Right. You're comfortable with your sexuality except for looking old and any body imperfections. I actually don't find you liberated at all. I also like how only the things that you like are the things that males value sexually and the reason they see your movies, your body and breasts. Of course your face, which makes you unique, is what you don't like.

"Of course it's nice to be considered sexy, as a young woman in my prime. But I try not to think about the sexiness. And I never think about it being distracting."

You try not think about it but you always talk about it. Annoying. Also, it's not distracting?

"I was driving through Los Angeles and I look up and see the biggest photo of me I have ever seen in my life on a massive ad space. I screamed and slammed on the brakes. I couldn't believe it. It's very strange to see my cleavage the size of a brontosaurus. My breasts were huge. I had long hair and my goodness, I couldn't get past the cleavage."

okay...and? google yourself and thats all you see because thats all you show.

and my fav?

"I think that I sort of see other actresses are kind of proud of the way they look and show it off. That`s never really been my style. I really don`t think that it`s disgusting or wrong, if you`re 18 you`re 18, it`s your body, it`s your right to show yourself, however, I don`t really take a part in that. I like to look nice, but I think that there`s ways of doing it that are more tasteful than just wearing a bikini wherever you go. "

Oh how times change. I don't think there's a movie or awards show when your breasts aren't hanging out or being squeezed til they hit your face. As Betty pointed out, you being a skinny girl with big breasts is okay but being curvy like Christina Hendricks (from Mad Men) and having large breasts {read: normal and sexy} is someone disgusting. Don't fool yourself, you have some curves but you're a skinny girl with big breasts. I really see no problem wearing a bikini to the beach if you're 18, so please show me who does that atthe parties and places you go?

ScarJo, you have annoyed me in all your roles except for Ghost World, which was awesome {whats up thora birch? rip brad renfro :( }, I hated you in "He's Just Not That Into You", and I am sick of every interview/time I see you/you open your mouth there is always some stupid quote about your sexuality. Don't get me started on your views on monogamy...

I don't like that you think you're so sexually liberated but work and promote and perpetuate the industry standards of beautiful and sexy. I feel bad that you don't like you face. I think you recognize that it is a game but you embrace it and continue it and that makes me sad. I don't like you and the control you perceive to have over your sexuality. You say things like, "Being ultra-thin is not sexy at all. Women shouldn't be forced to conform to unrealistic and unhealthy body images that the media promote." but then you go on about how you take anti aging products, hate you face, and how a women's best compliment is being called sexy.

I don't think so. My best compliment is when someone recognized my intelligence or humor or things that I can control

Beauty is an accident. What you are inside is a choice.

So ScarJo? I hate you.

Love,

Veronica

{edit: I am not against plastic surgery, anti aging, botox, make up, etc etc. I really just don't like the message that sexuality is about looks and being perfect. However a person is comfortable is fine with me but do realize that without the media, most people wouldn't be clamoring for the physical perfection they crave. What a person finds sexy is subjective and these are just my opinions on an actress I really don't like. Again, hate is just a strong word for dislike}

What Up With...The Shakeweight

On Saturday night, I was all curled up watching bad television when I counted not one...not two...but three times where I saw a commercial for the Shake Weight and had to quickly change the channel. Now, not all infomercials bother me. In fact, I will admit that sometimes I'll get so drawn into one that I'll sit through the entire 30 minute presentation.

When I first saw a commercial for the Shake Weight, it made me laugh in an "isn't that silly" way. I also laughed because I have a dirty mind...you know what I mean. But as more time has gone on, I find myself saying "ok really, this is just ridiculous." And now there's Shake Weight for Men. Now I ask you: what up with that? Honestly, I don't get it. Is anyone really just sitting on their couch shaking this thing? Because I can think of several things I'd rather shake:

1) A metal shaker full of vodka, triple sec, cranberry juice, lime juice, and ice. Then I can burn the calories I'm about to consume in a delicious cosmopolitan.

2) A tambourine. In my dreams I'd like to flash back to the 60's and be a hot girl in a rock group standing on a pedestal in the back shaking a tambourine. Or like Madonna in her video for "Get Into the Groove".

3) My tailfeather...or bon bon...or groove thing...or rump.

Shake Weight commercial - I hate you.

Love,

Betty

I hate the high road: or why being morally superior can suck

{What Up with That Wednesday is now in session!}

I hate taking the high road. You know, the road where you do the right thing but somehow the other person gets all the rewards? I know that in the end karma is a bitch and blah blah they'll get what they deserve but it still isn't fun watching a completely undeserving person get rewarded for well, being a jerk.

I hate the ex friend who talked CRAZY shit about me to a ton of people which was all lies. He was privately a VERY different person that most people saw him as and really, a big fake. I took the high road and didn't spill all the secrets that would have burned him socially and professionally. When people hate me because of him it gets me really upset. I feel like screaming and shouting and throwing a tantrum and letting them know how much shit their "friend" talked about them but what's the use? People have to figure things out for themselves.

I hate the ex boyfriend who is a spoiled brat who treats everyone horrible but is so charming everyone forgives him. The guy who lies to everyone, who is lazy, who can never be depended on but yet somehow everyone knows this and can't stand him but when you're in the room with him you forget it all. I hate that I worked so hard and people respect me more but still hang out with him. I hate that at the end of the day when I could do a lot of things to him I don't because I'm just not vindictive.

I hate having the power to really mess up someones life they way they've hurt mine or someone I've loved yet don't because I am a person who doesn't stoop that low. I hate feeling angry when I know I should feel good about myself and my decisions. I suppose I feel saltier that a bag of salt n' vinegar chips but sometimes I can't help it. It is really frustrating to work hard and watch people cheat and lie and get rewards based on that.

I also hate people who have 15 items and still go in the 10 items of less check out lane.

I hate people who can't decide for themselves how they feel about a person and rely on other people.

I hate feeling about bad about people not worth my time.

I hate waiting a week for True Blood and all summer for more Glee.

But things I love?

@LivitLuvit, in the @MTVTJ search for MTV’s 1st Twitter Jockey! #zyncmtvtj. Follow her!

Love,

Veronica